Hinge Benefits
December 12, 2007 | Contributed by Daniel Walters
Do me a favor, the next time you find yourself in the old Fine Arts Building, take a moment to examine the Koehler gallery.
No, don’t allow yourself to be distracted by the art within, though the black sculptures of banana’s do present a compelling portrayal of the contradictions manifest in the human condition.
Instead, examine something far more interesting:
The doors. More specifically, the hinges.
You’ll notice that, of the six hinges, one is not like the other. One just doesn’t belong. One, is missing a hinge pin.
That’s because that particular hinge pin was anonymously delivered to me by people claiming to be the “so-called Art Vandals.”
The meaning was clear. The perps responsible for “hacking” the Koeler gallery- switching the professional pieces with student pieces- didn’t need a key.
All they needed was some sort of tool, like say, a chisel and hammer provided in Sculpture I, to remove the hinge pins from the door.
Then, they easily removed the door from the hinges, stepped inside, completed their nefarious plan, and then put the door back on its hinges.
Yes, they used the same sly tactics featured in the hit heist movie: Ever After.
Whitworth responded by changing the lock (which didn’t help much) and locking the outside doors of the art building, which did even less.
There are three — count ‘em three — categories of ways to easily break into the Art building after hours. And each of these ways have dozens of different iterations and variations. I would detail exactly how this can be done, but I don’t want to inconvenience art students even further.
You see, some art students have even broken into the Art Building after hours for the express purpose of working on their art pieces.
You know we live in a twisted world when students are breaking rules, dodging security, and sneaking into locked buildings late at night for the express purpose of working on their homework.
Obviously, this massive inconvenience for Art students, some of whom have to work until 11:00 at night. Art students would just work at home, if only their Arend dorm room came equipped with a pottery wheel.
And what’s the benefit of all this inconvenience. Nothing. All it does is keep the honest students from working on their art pieces. Today, art students could pull the exact same prank. In fact, it would be even easier, because they don’t have to worry about some other art student catching them. They have the building all to themselves.
I’m no George Clooney. But I’m confident that even I could get into the Koehler Gallery after hours and replace all of Ruben Trejo’s pieces with identical forgeries. In fact, who’s to say I already haven’t?
Can you tell the authentic banana sculpture from the fake?
Whitworth should open up the art building again. They trust music students in the music building. They trust theater students in the theater building. They trust Media students in the HUB. Remember, nothing has ever been damaged after hours because of art students.
They should focus on making the Koehler gallery more secure instead. This can be easily done in two ways. The hinges should be put on the inside of the door. The downside, is that this would mean that the door would swing towards the inside of the gallery, instead of outward, possibly obscuring artwork.
Another, easier method might be to replace the hinge. The use of non-removable pins, safety studs, or fast riveted (crimped) hinge pins can deter this sort of breaking in. You can find these at your friendly neighborhood Home Depot. Six hinges at $3.72 a pop with an 8 percent sales tax: $24.11
I’m sure art students would more than willing to donate money for these security precautions, if it would mean they could work in the art building after hours.
On another note, it’s been interesting to see so many people blame the pranksters for the art building being locked after hours. To me, that’s as silly as a historian blaming the United States for Pearl Harbor, because of the oil embargo the US placed on Japan (*cough*HowardZinn*cough*)
There were a number of ways Whitworth could have responded to the prank. Locking the building at midnight was just one method — and in my opinion, one with a far greater cost than benefit — of dealing with the situation. Students shouldn’t be blamed for the overreactions applied to their actions.
Comments
4 Responses to “Hinge Benefits”
The Forum strives to maintain academic integrity and as such we expect proper grammar and punctuation at all times. Please avoid colloquial internet memes and emoticons. Additionally, we strongly value accountability for written words and wish to avoid an anonymous environment.
Please use your real first and last name, or your comment will be deleted.
Due to the nature of the comment formatting, please be sure there is a space between paragraphs, or your comment may not display properly.
Sales tax in Spokane is 8.6%, so the total for the hinges would actually come to $24.24.
Also:
Despite your sarcasm about the meaning of banana, it offers us great insight into the plight of humanity: it is clearly reflective of the male dominance that oppresses us all– and yet the phallic symbols that affirm this oppression are disguised as a friendly piece of fruit, a tall bell to chime at the passing of the hour, or a seemingly harmless writing utensil. But can you take a banana so lightly when it is giant, black, and worth thousands of dollars? NO! This magnificent work of art truly does “present a compelling portrayal of the contradictions manifest in the human condition.”
I completely agree. It’s not like it would be difficult to end up in the art building after hours; especially for people who are experts in the art of heists.
Also: I hate Drew Barrymore.
Oh, Erika. You are full of blah-blah. I do not know a single art student (ok, maybe one) who actually liked Trejo’s work. However, I would be aggrieved if someone damaged my own. & I am still waiting to get my collages back that were taken from me during the supposed ‘heist’….
PS. I’m sure the building’s hours will not be regulated during Jan Term. But if the conspirator(s) behind the last heist are reading right now: please don’t damage Meagan Stirling and Jonathan Chamberlain’s show. I actually like their work!
PS. A big price tag does not make meaningful work. Have you looked at Alex Katz’s work this decade?! Puh-lease.